Last night while nursing a lovely, mashed fruity beverage I spent about 15 minutes reading a British accord of 1000 reasons the french are idiots.

My leg is half covered in coca-cola and vodka, my sock has ash on it. My friend finished high school today. He is asleep yet i remain celebratory. This summer between high and college is meant to fulfill those “we should ( and can) do ___that I’ve wanted to do moments. You live fully in this summer and acomplish things you wanted to but dont get around to in the last 4 years. Its a big time, damnit, why are you asleep already…

Aside from my last final tomorrow morning clearly my teacher doesn’t understand. The taxi is waiting, he’s blowing his horn!

Fuck the existentualities, this is not the time I have been eagerly awaiting for to think about my place in the world. There are 12 cuts on my hand and everytime I count again it seems to increase.

I’m sitting here in the middle of essentially a crowd of people who are all so damn invested in themselves. Paying no head to the people and world around them, these tests are just so damn important that we don’t even know what it is to be human anymore. I’m disgusted by it, I don’t know about everyone around me but I’d like to think I’m more than just a number in an algorithm.

I’m counting down the seconds till I can make my lasting escape from this place; 158,375 to go.
158,374
158,373
158,372…

I took a break from these keyboards after the disillusionment of us, I didn’t ink you into a world where you tragically hurt me. But lets not pretend im better then that-because I know I’m not; I just needed something different, and I wasn’t going to get it if I immediately wrote out some pain. I gave no blood to these papers, and I didn’t lose too many nights of sleep over you.

I think this last couple of months has at least temporarily taken its toll on me. I feel like a less idealistic man, though I’m ready to lose myself in my travels. But there’s weight on my shoulders, there is no escaping unscathed here and I wouldn’t want there to be. The only reason i know things are ok is to be able to feel this spectrum of negativity; after all its better than feeling nothing.